


Red

by kristsune



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Jesse knows how to bring him back, Kix is not doing well, M/M, angst angst angst, as much as he can, he had a really bad week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 16:14:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13721346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristsune/pseuds/kristsune
Summary: Kix has a bad week, Jesse helps bring him back to himself.





	Red

**Author's Note:**

> This was 100% inspired by [this](https://78.media.tumblr.com/50a704367b1b5990aa5f41dfa36add9a/tumblr_p3lasqc34C1rc5i45o1_1280.jpg) This didn't quite go the way i expected, but here we are.

Kix stared down at his hands. He had just finished scrubbing them clean after an uncountable number of hours on the battlefield and in the medbay, patching his brothers up. They were so  _ red _ , all the way up to his elbows. He thought he got off all the blood; blood from his vode, his brothers, his family. He saved many, but not enough. Too many died on his watch, on his table, under his hands. Hands stained red no matter how much he scoured his skin. 

He didn’t realize he was still under the spray of the shower until it was turned off.

“Kix, are you okay?”

Kix had no idea how to answer that. How could he be okay? His hands would never be clean again. He would always have to live with their deaths because he wasn’t good enough. 

He was still idly rubbing at his hands until someone gently grabbed his hands in theirs. 

“Hey, Kixystix, listen to me.” Kix finally looked up at his name that only one person used. Kix worked to focus on the voice. Jesse was on his knees in front of him, water soaking through his blacks. 

“Let’s get you dried off and somewhere more comfortable, yeah?”

Kix didn’t feel like he deserved to be comfortable, but he also didn’t have the energy to argue. Besides, Jesse’s voice and touch soothed something in him that he didn’t know could still be soothed. He couldn’t stand the thought of being seperated from that right now. He let Jesse lead him out of the ‘freshers to dry him off and then to their bunk. Speaking soft comforting words the entire time. It was mostly nonsense but it eased something that had been tight in his chest for much too long.

Poke was waiting for them at their bunk, and wrapped Kix’s hands in bacta and bandages. 

“It’s not too bad, just staying covered overnight should heal his hands.” Poke was talking to Jesse like he wasn’t there. And maybe he wasn’t. He felt disconnected, the only thing keeping him from floating away was Jesse’s touch. 

Jesse helped him drink some water, then laid him down on their bunk, curling protectively around him. Kix took a deep shuddering breath; it felt like the first time he could breathe in too long. 

Jesse didn’t try to placate him with empty platitudes. He just held him, secure against his broad chest. Kix thought just before he drifted off to sleep, there was a very good reason he called Jesse ruus’ner. He was the one solid thing in his life; the one thing he could always count on to bring him back. 

Kix was sure that Jesse was the only reason he would be able to wake up and keep moving. To forgive the blood on his hands. 


End file.
